so it was the second day of school today. it was just like any other day. this year has been extremly boring so far. i don't have any classes with kelsey or matt. and i don't get to see trevor in the hallways. this sucks so far. my classes are hard and i don't have anything to look forward to. i just don't care, i want to give up. but i guess i have to work hard for something in life, and thats to live happy in the end. so we found out our teams in vball practice today. yeah i'm not to satisfied. im on jv and varsity. yeah happy im on varsity. but jv really. this would be my third year on it. i mean yeah i guess they need me as a setter but i think they can find someone else. if i barely play varsity within the first couple games i think i'm gonna quit. cuz honestly what good am i if i barely play ya know. it would just be dumb. they can replace me. i'm not that important. i don't think our teams will be that good this year sadly. but we'll see. varsity yeah our hitters are good, but they brought up a freshman, and some sophomores. and jv-- the backrow isn't doing so hot. they let alot drop and can barely get me the ball to set. i'm like running out there to get the ball looking like a chicken with my head cut off. i like being a setter but yet i just kinda want to hit ya know. but i guess i can do both occasionally. kelsey is on jv with me. i'm proud of her. she's actually pretty damn good. i try and get her the ball as much as i can, hehe :) so i have to play jv this weekend for the tourney. i'm kinda pissed but whatever i guess. and we're highly encouraged not to go to the first football game of the year in platte. well damn it i really want to go. but doesn't look like i'll be going. just to impress a couple coaches. ugh fuck this. i just want to give up on it and do what i want when i want.i just wish i lived in a apartment or something and did everything i wanted for a while. and its hard then possibly go back to the way things were. idk just try something new i guess.
im gonna try and write in this more. cuz now i have wireless internet at home and i can get on this more instead of just school where i'm busy most of the time with homework or something. so kelsey i hope your getting more of my thoughts :) i love you kelsey! :)
